A few months back, right before the holidays, I had received a call from a job seeker who was referred to me. She was rather distraught that she had just been laid off right before Thanksgiving. She had a great resume with good stability and I told her not to worry, that I would do whatever I could to help her.
The next day, we met for coffee in at a Starbucks in downtown. She proceeded to explain that she had never been laid off before and didn’t know how to handle it. She went on to tell me that she was the breadwinner in her family, and expressed that this was extra difficult, with it being around the holidays and having two children to take care of.
Does this story sound familiar? It is a story that many a
job seeker I have met with has faced. I see it all too often where an
intelligent, capable employee is laid off or let go for some reason or another
and it proceeds to break their bank and their spirit. When someone is laid off
around the holidays, it can occur as even more challenging for that job seeker.
So how is this story any different than all the others out
there about unemployed job seekers who are despondent and do not see any access
to having their old career or any career back? This story is about perspective.
It is about how one’s perspective can shift the way a circumstance occurs and
in turn, shift the outcome of that person’s future.
That day, I sat there and listed empathetically to the story
I had heard all too many times before, but on this very special day, I decided
to offer some coaching that I don’t always offer. I asked her how that
perspective was working out for.
She replied “What perspective?”
I responded “The perspective that your circumstances are
outside of your control and that your holidays are going to be miserable, you
are bad and/or wrong for having been laid off and that you will never find
another job or at least not as good or well paying of a job.”
She laughed nervously, and then took a moment to think
about. “I guess it kind of sucks.”
“Yes,” I concurred, “It does, doesn’t it?” I continued on,
“Are you open to looking at this situation from a different perspective that
could give you access to having one of the best holidays of your life.”
She looked at me incredulously but answered with a slight
I went on to discuss with her how her thoughts and her words
were going to create exactly what she feared most: no job and no money for her
family. The only thing we have in life is our thoughts and what we say about
them. In her case, she was saying what many unemployed people say: “It’s hard,”
“I won’t find a job,” “I cannot find a job,” “I am not as young as I used to
What happens when we use this language and think these
disempowering thoughts, I explained, is that we begin to create that
disempowering reality as the truth. Most people sit around hoping for a miracle
or some even go out and aggressively look for a job “hoping” that something good
will turn out for them, but the language they use and the thoughts they think
are counter productive to their intended outcome: getting a job.
“So what do I do?” she asked. Well that is the question,
isn’t it? What can you do to alter the way you think, act and speak so that
your thoughts and words align with your intention?
“What would it be like,” I asked “If you shifted your
perspective and saw this as an opportunity rather than an obstacle?”
“I am not sure I understand,” she replied confused.
“When was the last time you had a month or more off around
the holidays with your husband and children where you got to enjoy every moment
“I cannot remember,” she responded.
“What if…you were to look at this lay off as a gift. A
chance to spend a month off with your family and to cherish every moment you
have with them and know without a shadow of a doubt that you will have an even
better job come the new year?”
“That would be a miracle!” She exclaimed. “How would I
possibly do that?”
We sat down and went through how to put together an
intentional action plan, including a statement of intent and a daily
declaration. That day, we created a statement of intent and a daily
declaration for Jane. By the time we completed our interview, she had access to a new perspective on
her job search and a new action plan on how to be effective in achieving her
A few weeks later, I received a call on Christmas Eve. It
was Jane. She was in tears. At first, I was worried that something had happened,
but through her tears she managed to get out “Jennifer, I want you to know,
that these are not tears of sadness, rather, they are tears of joy. Thanks to
your coaching and feedback I have had the most amazing last few weeks
celebrating the holidays with my family and that wouldn’t have been possible if
you had not helped me shift my perspective. I also want you to know that I have
not found a job yet, but it does not event concern me. I have been doing my
daily declaration and focusing on my statement of intent every day and there is
not a question in my mind that I will have a job come the New Year. Thank you
for what you taught me.”
Less than two weeks later, I got a call a few days after the
New Year and it was Jane, “Jennifer, I want you to know that I got a job, and
not only that, it is closer to home and pays me more money. Thank you for what
you taught me. I will always remember you.”
This story is an example of what you can get if you are willing to shift your perspective and is the opening story of my upcoming book “Stop Hoping…Start Hunting!” Stay tuned, as the book should be widely available by the end of this year.