Have you ever listened to what people say? I mean, really listened? Over the last few years I have begun to pay attention to the language that people use in their job hunt and how it directly correlates to their effectiveness or lack of effectiveness in finding a job.
What I have begun to notice is that people who consistently use disempowering and passive language such as “I hope,””I’ll try,””I might,” “Maybe,” “One Day,” tend to be less effective in attaining the jobs they want than those who use more affirmative and empowering language such as “I will,” “I can,” “I intend,” “I am creating,” etc…
Though I am not a neuro-psychologist, I love the study of the brain and understanding how and why we do what we do. What if the language that we use had a direct relationship to our ability to attain our goals? I have personally played with this theory over the past ten years and have found it to be consistent that using empowering and affirmative language does have a direct correlation on my effectiveness, as well as on the effectiveness of those who I have taught these principles to.
One of the first things that I teach job seekers who come into my office is how to use affirmative and empowering language in their job search. Essentially, I tell them to start noticing the words they use to describe their job search and to omit the words that are disempowering.
This is also true of negatively discussing your job search with others. The most common phrase I hear amongst unemployed job seekers is “It’s hard.” It’s hard, meaning their job search. When you begin replacing “It’s hard” with things like “I am getting out there,” and/or “I am making progress,” you will start to notice that different results will begin to appear. Often times these results are getting you closer to the job you really want.
In a class I lead called “Making Yourself Indispensable in the Workplace,” I coach job seekers to keep a note pad with them and to write down every time that they complain during one full day. From there, I teach them to notice the impact that their complaints have on those around them. What I have found is that many of us don’t even realize how often we complain and how our complaints begin to create our reality. When we replace our complaints with proactive or positive language about what is working, rather than what is not working, our perspective begins to change as well. Once your perspective begins to alter, your attitude, beliefs and actions will slowly alter as well to be in line with your new perspective on what you are committed to.
One of the best quotes that I have heard is “If you want to know what you are committed to, look at what you have.”
This statement can be biting for some people, because they don’t want to take responsibility for the circumstances in their lives. When you begin to take responsibility for both the good and the bad things that happen in your life, you are no longer the victim of your life, you are the cause of it and you will begin to have power over the direction your life goes.
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